Glitterati Gossip

Disturbingly Obvious Cross-Marketing

Well, given the frenzy of marketing that is happening around the "Sex And The City" movie, and the presence of a character named Mr. Big, I guess you could just call this the next logical step. Yes, that is a picture of the Mr. Big vibrator, and yes, it's aptly named. Surely this can't be the first sex toy with this particular moniker, right? I would never recommend that you type "Mr. Big Vibrator" into Google, but if you did, I'm guessing you'd get a pretty wide range of options. The only thing that surprises me is that it isn't pink, and possibly glittery.

Kudos to the sex toy company for recognizing an opportunity when they saw one. I wonder what Chris Noth thinks of this. I mean, it's no Victoria's Secret Lingerie, but it is a little... obvious.

Via Best Week Ever.

Co-Ed Magazine Educates Us On Cougar Seducing

Did you know that women over the age of forty are:

1) Desperate as hell
2) Less clingy than young chicks
3) Universally fans of Gibson Martinis

I bet you didn't! And that's because you don't read Co-Ed Magazine, a fine, fine publication that is here to help with your cougar-seducing needs. Thank god for these guys, really. If it weren't for Co-Ed magazine, 20-something guys would be forced to come up with their own unique ways to make total asses of themselves.

Give Your Child A Jumpstart In The Hoochie Race

Why, Beyonce, Why? We understand that you're ho-tackular, and that's fine with us - believe me, it's more than fine - we like you as tacky and slutty as all get out, we do. We've accepted that it's gotten to the point where we can no longer believe what 12-year olds are wearing in the race to emulate you and people like you, but can you keep your hands off the pre-schoolers at least?

Please, take a gander at this ad for House of Dereon:

And you thought pageant babies were creepy, right? What is up with this? Who thinks it's a good idea to dress their child this way? When I was six my fanciest shoes were a pair of patent leather mary janes, not bright red pumps with a three-inch heel.

I'm sure any of my readers who happen to be parents are the kind of tasteful, sane human beings who would never dress their kid like this, but if you happen to know anyone who might be this kind of superultramegatacky, please allow me to intervene on your behalf. I will personally bitchslap anyone who dresses their kid like this, and then I will buy that kid some OshKosh.

Via PopGumbo.

How To Sell Millions of Magazines

Step 1: Book Robert Downey Jr.

Step 2: Flood the photo studio with Nitrous.

Step 3: Hand him some fishnet stockings and talk about how he would have been way better in "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas" than Depp.

Step 4: Profit

Head on over to GQ to see the rest of the photos, which are, yes, all that weird. Oh, also I have it on good authority that there are some words next to the photos. Thank you, "Iron Man," thank you for making RDJ big news again.

C.C. DeVille Scares The Crap Out Of Me

Frontman Bret Michaels is on VH1's "Rock Of Love," drummer Rikki Rockett is locked up, and guitarist C.C. DeVille is ... undead?

I Thought American Apparel Were Clever Marketers

Who goes and uses a celebrity on a billboard without asking permission?

Further WTF:
Janice Dickinson flexibility test
A seven-million dollar home for Reese Witherspoon
Heath Ledger love child?
Steve Martin + Diane Keaton working together again?

Paul Prudhomme Grazed By Stray Bullet On Golf Course

In a non-tragic accident that will make everyone believe that New Orleans is totally safe for everyone, celebrity chef Paul Prudhomme was setting up to cook for a PGA tournament when a bullet grazed his arm.

People Magazine reports that the .22 caliber bullet was fired from over a mile away and didn't cause anything more than a scare for Prudhomme, who was back to cooking within minutes. It sounds like someone was out doing target practice nearby and sent a shot wide. Oops!

WTF Is Donatella Versace Saying?

Yes, the accent is tricky, but even accounting for that, she sounds as though the techs have run her microphone through an effects box labeled "Ozzy Osbourne after a faceful of Botox and a mouthful of pills."

OMG Jason Bateman Sneezes

It's something of a joke that whenever celebrities do anything, it becomes news. But seriously, do we need a blog post dedicated to the news that Jason Bateman sneezed? I sneezed once too! I'm just like a star!

(OK, it's one of those "guess who" items, but still: WTF?)

Friday Afternoon Video: Soccer Practice

This has nothing to do with anything, but Ectomo pointed me to this video, which will make "soccer practice" sound like a euphemism for the rest of your weekend at least: