I have to agree with The Rad Report, Paris is looking eerily orange and shiny in this publicity shot for her creepy clip-in hair. With her eyes closed like that, she also looks a little bit like a creepy death mask of herself. You be the judge, which looks more lifelike?
Actual Paris:
Plaster of Paris:
Admit it, if it weren't for the color (beige vs. orange) you'd have a hard time telling which was which.
<a href="http://www.celebitchy.com/10425/paris_hilton_calls_herself_an_inspiration_to_girls/">Just Not A Good One</a>.
Last week, I made fun of Jamie Lee Curtis for talking about how yogurt can help to promote regularity. I wish to apologize for that. I would much rather hear Jamie Lee Curtis talk about poop than I would even begin to think about what Paris Hilton's new diamond-studded "BM" ring implies.
Looks like we'll need a "Barron Hilton" category as well as a "Paris Hilton" category on the blog here, as the young man racks up his first mugshot at the tender age of 18, blowing a reported .14 BAC on the alcohol test.
TMZ has all the play-by-play details, of course, and managed to contact Barron's father to ask for a comment before the police or Barron himself did. Now that's newshound dedication!
TMZ might know what happens as it happens, but I can tell you what will happen next: From now until about noon tomorrow, gossip-mongers will make fun of the Hilton family, criticize their parenting, and make up increasingly violent misogynist insults for Paris and her mother (but not, for some reason, Nicky). The words "dumb slut" will be the starting point.
Then, tomorrow afternoon, everyone will begin a guilty self-examination period, wondering whether the combination of privilege and constant gossipy scrutiny have doomed celebutots to addiction and disaster, and to what extent they are to blame for the problems of their subjects.
At that point, Britney Spears will be mentioned, and the guilty self-examiners will recount all of the crazy things Britney did, one by one, trying to guess what part of the whole disaster was their fault. Then things will get all too meta, they'll give up, drink themselves into an uneasy sleep, and start again on Thursday morning.
As grandfather Hilton prepares to donate 1.2 billion dollars (yes, with a b) to a charitable foundation started by his own father, the young 'uns continue their sybaritic displays of excess: Barron Hilton, just eighteen years old, was pulled over for a DUI this morning.
This boy is eighteen years old and driving a Mercedes, so I already hate him. But he's driving a Mercedes while drunk at 8:30 in the morning on a weekday. Doesn't he have school or something? Was he going to school drunk? What the hell?
Paris Hilton stars in "The Hottie And The Nottie," which seems like a joke that died back in 2001 or something, but apparently she's resurrected it and dressed it in a million dollars worth of tacky diamonds and a prom dress from the Barbie collection. God, I hate her.
Some time around 1995, it became apparent to a large number of desperate young ladies that a large proportion of men think it's hot when girls kiss each other. Therefore, to attract male attention, they'd kiss each other, or at least dance close together in a suggestive way. Works every time.
Paris Hilton, reports US Magazine, has finally realized the same thing. Fed up with showing us her genitals, driving drunk, and saying "that's hot," she spent a few minutes the other evening making out with Elisha Cuthbert. I think this was a ploy to get people interested in the Blackberry Pearl cell phone, or maybe she was simply bored. Frankly, I can't even be bothered to speculate.
You know what would be interesting? If boys other than Pete Wentz realized that a lot of girls think it's hot when boys kiss each other, and started making out. (See "Torchwood"). That requires being really desperate for attention, because it's bound to alienate some people as well as attract others. But Paris Hilton kissing a girl? I don't care if she's tonguing the mouldering corpse of Princess Di. I'm just not titillated.
Paris Hilton loves the lesbian-centric soap "The L-Word" but is she more than just a fan? JJ's Dirt says she's got a long history of female lovers... and as an aside, she's back on the drugs. Now, I'd never say anything like that because it just seems too risky, legally. And besides, so what if she's kissed a few girls? Good for her. That's hot. Etc.
And I guess if this Jaxon character wants to publish his kind of sleaze, that's up to him. But personally, I would never insinuate that Paris Hilton had sex with Lindsay Lohan while they were both totally out of their minds on cocaine. I'm way classier than that.
Well, she's been invited to hang with the Harvard Lampoon, anyway, as she promotes a forgettable rom-com called "Paris Hilton And No Socially Redeeming Value." It's from the same producers as the legendary Lindsploitation flick "I Know Who Killed My Career."
Kim Kardashian has resolved to wear more animal prints and keep her boobs squeezed into uncomfortable positions whenever there's a camera around. Oh, and to more consistently outdo her sisters at everything related to "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."
Continue reading "New Year's Resolutions For Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson, And More" »
