I'm going to be generous here. Even though I think Tom Cruise is an evil little munchkin of Scientology and Katie Holmes is his carefully brainwashed slave, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't think they're weird enough to lighten little Suri's hair.
It's just that she's in different lighting, or it's one of those weird things that happens with kids as they grow up, right? Come on, no one is that insane, right? Right?
Via Yeeeah.
The Cruises and the Beckhams snapped this oh-so-natural-and-relaxed shot at the Costume Institute Gala at the MET. They haven't been seen together in months and looking at this shot, I really wonder why, it's clear that the remaining husk of Katie Holmes absolutely adores the creepy wax figure of Posh Beckham. The theme of the event was Superheroes, which I suppose explains Katie's giant orange dress, but there's no theme that justifies whatever has been shellacked to Victoria's face. It's a creepy vision of what she'll look like at 60 folks, only by then, there'll probably be more rage in the eyes.
Katie Holmes wants to spend some time on Broadway. Without Tom. Uh, Tom's not so cool with that, say the tabs. He bought his robot bride, he's keeping her. I guess it's your standard Hollywood relationship of convenience and ennui.
My first question: If you were a young woman in Hollywood, would you rather share a place with Samantha Ronson (like Lindsay Lohan is doing, according to Celebitchy) or with Tom Cruise? Lohan may have poor career planning skills and a drug problem, but I feel like she's at least free from the corrupting influence of Scientology and Tom Cruise. I guess I'd rather marry a cultist than be hooked on coke, but if I could avoid the drug problem I'd totally prefer sharing an apartment (and possibly a bed) with a DJ to living in that creepy-ass Scientology mansion.
My second question: Under the old studio system, gay actors would have sham marriages with lesbian actresses. A lot of people think Tom Cruise is gay and that he's married Katie Holmes just to make himself look more straight. But what about Katie? Her sexuality is never in question. Why is that? She may have had a Tom Cruise poster on her wall, but who knows if she's really got a crush on Cynthia Nixon?
Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes, says BWE, are on incredibly strict diets. On an evening out together, they splurged by eating one piece of fish with a little steamed spinach and a salad with no dressing. That's a light meal for one person, but they split it between them. Posh is also said not to exercise - because she thinks it looks undignified - and stays thin solely by starving herself. Katie's been suffering from fainting spells recently. I wonder why. Perhaps it's because she doesn't eat. It seems more and more like marrying Tom was a deal with the devil. I hope she survives to write a tell-all.
How weird! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes try to avoid medicating her when it's not necessary, and don't let her watch TV or eat food that's bad for her! And they have play-dates with other people in their church! Suri Cruise must have the weirdest life on the planet! STRANGE CULT RITUALS like nap-time after lunch?
Did you know that children under two aren't really supposed to watch TV in general? How totally abnormal is it that the Cruise family is following the American Pediatric Association's recommendations about screen time for young children?
I don't know if other people will think it's child abuse not to let your kids eat McDonalds, but seriously, this sounds like a pretty conscientious (and at least in my circles, normal) parenting technique to me.
I'm not saying this as a defender of Scientology, either. I'm saying this as a critic of Star Magazine, which seems unable to produce anything actually "weird" about them, when you just know there has to be something totally bizarro going on.
"The first time you came on this show, you were starring on 'Gordon's Creek.'"
"Dawson's."
Yeah, Letterman was obviously prepped well for his interview with Katie Holmes last night.
The whole thing was impossibly inane: Oh my, children do grow up so fast. Holidays are fun, sort of. A marathon is a long way to run. Etc.
It wasn't an awkward conversation, of course. The two of them are expert small-talkers. But they didn't say anything. I don't quite understand why, if Letterman has actual writers these days, he bothers with a totally content-free interview, unless it's just to kill time while they prep the clip from "Mad Money"
No, it's not going to be up for an Oscar or anything. But do you think any of these people care? No. Diane Keaton already won an Oscar for "Annie Hall" back in the 70s. I never heard of it, I think it was a silent feature or something. Long time ago. The point is, she doesn't have to care any more. If she wants to pick up a paycheck for doing a piece of fluff, she's entitled.
Same with Queen Latifah. She got an Oscar nomination for her supporting role in "Chicago." She's proven she can be a serious actress if she wants. If she wants to do a heist caper, she can do a heist caper. Nothing wrong with a popcorn flick. I personally like to put M&Ms into my popcorn for a mix of salty and sweet.
And Katie Holmes... well, Katie's still young, but she's gotten some nominations. And she won a Razzie award, which is always... exciting?
Point being, they know they're in a silly move. And they're going to make mad money on it. And if you don't like that, well, you can go back to your Ingmar Bergman film festival and shut the hell up.
Frankly, I didn't think any movie with Katie Holmes in it was going to be any good at all. And the same goes for Queen Latifah. I mean, "Taxi?" So believe me when I'm as shocked as anyone else to find that "Mad Money" actually looks like it might be fun.
Maybe it's that they've cast Diane Keaton as an uptight white lady drawn into a criminal scheme. I love the bit when she tells her husband "Lighten up, or I'm going to have to have you whacked." Diane Keaton does the nervous-mom thing so well, and it's great to see her play it for laughs.
I can't get a feel for how Katie Holmes and Queen Latifah handle their characters, though. Holmes looks like she's just doing the cutie-pie thing, and I fear that Queen Latifah has fallen into a stereotyped "sassy black woman" role. Yes, the movie is basically just a heist caper, but that's no excuse for poor characterization.
Of course, some people will see it just because it's got Katie's underpants in it.
The BBC is reporting that Narcissa Malfoy has finally been cast for the next "Harry Potter" instalment, and it's Helen McCrory, best known in the US for playing Cherie Blair in "The Queen." She'd initially been asked to play Narcissa's sister, Bellatrix Lestrange, in the previous Potter film, but the slot went to Helena Bonham Carter when McCrory turned down the role to prepare for a bigger role: Motherhood. McCrory has been pretty successful in the UK on stage and on TV, with a few big-screen roles as well, but this job should kick her career up to another level.
Meanwhile, in Hollywood (I refuse to say "on this side of the pond." Next to "spotted canoodling," "across the pond" is the most irritating phrase in pop-news writing), Winona Ryder has been tapped to play Spock's mother in the next Star Trek movie. Hell yes! Vulcan Ryder! I am so there - she'll do an awesome job.
By far the most challenging role I've heard about so far today is Katie Holmes reported $600 million dollar deal to play Tom Cruise's wife. It's a long-term deal, of course, even given the average term of Hollywood marriage, and the actual terms of the deal are only now leaking out. Allegedly.
Hey, man, I just report what popbytes says the National Enquirer says they heard in a sleazy bar in LA. The word is that Katie was given the substantial dowry to become Tom's wife and provide him with... whatever kind of marital bliss they seem to have.
Hell, maybe he gave her the truckload of money because he loves her and wants them to be on equal financial footing. If so, Daniel Radcliffe could take a lesson there, since he's got that broke-ass girlfriend. On the other hand, it seems plausible that the TomKat marriage has lasted so long because Katie knows it's a job, not a love-match.
First the "Lions For Lambs" thing, then the "Mad Money" thing, the NY Marathon, and now a Black Tie Salute To Tom Cruise from the Museum Of The Moving Image.
Tom and Katie are just popping up everywhere. Leave some space on the red carpet for the other kids, OK?
