« March 30, 2008 - April 5, 2008 | Main | April 13, 2008 - April 19, 2008 »
At left, Simon Cowell, whose job involves emotionally kicking people in the teeth. At right, Randy Couture, a mixed-martial-arts fighter, whose job is actually kicking (and getting kicked) in the teeth. I understand why Couture's face looks so busted, but why does Simon look like he's been hit with the ugly fist a few more times than necessary?
Seriously. If your whole life is a reality show, caught on camera, you might as well get an executive producer credit for it. Britney's got the right idea. Flattering? No. But given that it's going to get out and be unflattering anyway, she might as well take ownership of it.
OK, not the real queen. But someone dressed up as her.
Rob Van Winkle, formerly known as Vanilla Ice and more recently known as one of the contestants on "Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge," has been arrested in a domestic dispute, allegedly for shoving his wife. I guess it could be worse. (TMZ)
Willie Nelson says if they make a movie about him, he hopes he's played by Denzel Washington, because that guy can really act. (Performing Songwriter)
Kathy Hilton is probably a better mom than you think. At least, she's aware that her little girl is kind of a selfish narcissist, and she's suspicious of Paris' motives in dating her best friend's husband's twin brother. (PopCrunch)
G'N'R have finally finished "Chinese Democracy." Yeah, right. I'll believe it when I see it. Hear it. You know what I mean. (NME)
JustJared has some awesome hi-resolution pictures of Shia LaBeouf's death scene from "New York, I Love You." If you've ever fantasized about cradling his poor bleeding head in your arms as he breathes his last, and looks lovingly into your eyes, then you're really creepy. Also, you should totally click through and save them for your desktop.
Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps is known for having enormous feet, and for being one of the greatest swimmers ever known. With the advent of the latest in swimsuit technology, he's now also known for the size of his dong. You'd think such a generous endowment would slow him down in the water, but apparently pointing it forward keeps it from being too much of a problem.
My news sources tell me that Khloe Kardashian wore this dress to a party for Kritik the clothing line - apparently not related to her, despite the multiple k's in the name - and to the premiere of National Lampoon's new movie "One, Two, Many." They neglect to point out that she also wore it on stage in her remedial high school production of "California Produce: A Celebration In Song."
It's awfully hard to reconcile the Duran Duran rebel-rock attitude with Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger's pop-tart attitude, but if you overlook that, you can almost see why it makes sense for her to sing "Rio." After all, both the Dolls and Duran Duran are bands that work the sexually-charged thing a little harder than is really necessary. The 80s rockers were named after Durand Durand, the evil sexbot from "Barbarella," and Nicole's band was named, I think, after a line of inflatable love dolls.
Even so, we've got a weird combination, because the new version of "Rio" was actually developed not for an album but as part of ad for a new product called "Caress Brazilian Exotic Oil Infusions Body Wash." I'm guessing it's supposed to make you smell like cachaça and seething shantytowns, mixed with coconuts and sweaty thong bathing suits.
The only way I can understand this combination is to assume that Nicole is working her rep as a dirty whore and she wants a bath product with plenty of moisturizer, because otherwise her skin would dry out from all the hours she spends scrubbing her filthy, filthy body that just won't... come... clean.
Alicia Keys thinks gangsta rap is a government plot aimed at destroying black people. (POTP)
Roseanne Barr did what? Or is she just joking about getting some plastic surgery... there? (SOW)
Barron Hilton cops a plea. (Celeb Warship)
D-bag relationship expert Dr. Phil lives in something of a glass house. Meaning his wife left him and I have never been so happy to hear about a breakup. (PopBytes)
Britney Spears gave $25,000 to "Idol Gives Back" - hey, what a sweetheart. (Girls Talking Smack)
"Top Chef" disasters and trash-talking. (Televisionary)
What is Gerri Halliwell doing at the Galaxy British Book Awards show? Has this girl ever read a book in her life?
