Glitterati Gossip

Dalene Kurtis Loves Cell Phones

T-Mobile had a party for its new Sidekick phone. And guess who showed up to display the butterfly tattoo on her ass-crack? Dalene Kurtis.

She's a Playboy Bunny: A nice smile and a cute handbag and a decent bleach-job somehow given life and the ability to totter around on high heels. I was kind of surprised to see that people like Lance Bass and Taryn Manning also showed up at the party. I mean, it's a party for a cell phone.

And not even a totally new cell phone that revolutionizes the design world. It's the latest iteration of the thing that was cool among IT types five years ago because you could put an SSH terminal emulator on it and log in to your UNIX server while you were at a remote office.

Oh yeah, and it's great for bimbos. Bimbos love the sidekick. They can't decide if they are one or if they need one or both.

Lindsay Lohan's Lesbian Love Triangle And Other Alliterative Linkage

Two women have fallen hard for someone who's no good for them: Courtenay Semel and Samantha Ronson are said to be competing for Lindsay Lohan's attentions. Mistaaake! (Exposay)

Paris Hilton actually went to Africa and did some nice stuff for poor kids. Of course, it was just a stopover photo-op while she was on tour with her boyfriend's band, which is playing a show in Johannesburg. I think it's a shallow and disappointing kind of charity, but I won't go so far as to call her a whore, as our source does. (DListed)

Outkast's Big Boi is making a ballet. Of course. (BuzzSugar)

Winona busted shoplifting again? Uh oh. (Exposay)

More details about John Malkovich taking a bath/interview with Craig Bierko. (Seriously OMG)

Can you hear that biological clock ticking? Charlize Theron can. (Pop On The Pop)

Kate Middleton And Prince William Go Skiing

I went to high school with Kate Middleton. Not this Kate Middleton, of course, but I went to high school with a Kate Middleton. I have no idea what she's doing these days because when I Google her all I come up with is Prince William's girlfriend.

It's got to be tricky to have a celebrity name like that. I guess there are advantages. I bet you have no trouble making restaurant reservations. But on the other hand nobody believes you when you tell them your name. "Riiiight, and I'm the queen."

Look at them, though. All skiing and happy, although it looks like her ears are cold and she won't wear a hat for fear of messing up her hair, which is kind of silly. The photo is from March 19th, at Klosters in Switzerland. Some of the best skiing in the world, I'm told. Very exclusive.

Miley Cyrus Turns To Wax

You can tell that Miley Cyrus is not a robot because the wax statue of her at Tussaud's isn't quite an uncanny resemblance. I mean, it's obviously a statue of her, but it's also obviously a statue. Unlike Victoria Beckham, whose simulacra are indistinguishable from their original, Miley Cyrus isn't actually a horrible robot. (Nor, as the Boston Globe suggests, is she hitting the salon regularly for bikini waxing.)
 

Nonetheless, as with her branded lead-filled toys, I do not recommend chewing on Miley Cyrus or the Miley Cyrus wax sculpture. Just to be safe.

Angela Bassett Gets What She Deserves

Angela Bassett got a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame this week. Not only is she famous and beautiful and a talented actress, but she knows how to wear a short dress to a photoshoot without showing off her goddamn crotch. For that skill alone, she deserves a goddamn star.

Here's Your Six Million Dollar J-Lo Photoshoot

It'll hit newsstands tomorrow, but here's the cover.

It's Jennifer Lopez and her babies.

Six million dollars.

Hell, I could show you cute baby pictures for free. I agree that babies are cute, and twins are of course double-cute. But what makes these babies six million dollars better?

Seriously, this is screwed up.

Do Not Chew Your Hannah Montana Toys

Miley Cyrus may be a good influence on her young fans, but Miley-branded products - manufactured in China for Disney and sold at Wal*Mart - are loaded with lead, according to CNN and the Center For Environmental Health. Oops.

Sweet niblets! Keep your mouth off that Hannah Montana vinyl purse!

Lucy Liu Wants You To Drink Tap Water

Environmentally responsible people in the US know that drinking bottled water is silly and wasteful, because our tap water is perfectly good and just as wet as the stuff shipped in from Fiji. Environmentally responsible people eating out in restaurants are a perfect audience for a strategy of high-volume, low-pressure charity called The Tap Project from UNICEF. 

Here's how it works: When you drink tap water at a restaurant, you donate a buck to improve a poor nation's tap water. Each dollar can provide a child with up to 40 days of clean water. It's still cheaper than bottled water, and it makes you feel twice as good.

Plus, Lucy Liu says you should do it. And frankly, who wouldn't do whatever Lucy Liu wants them to do?

The Von Bondies Play SXSW

I love the Von Bondies.  They don't get the exposure of the White Stripes or the Hives or any of those guys, but I think they're a lot more interesting. Obviously it's a sound that won't ever end up on "American Idol," but whatever.

After the jump, I've posted a video of them playing "C'mon C'mon" on Letterman.

(If you like it, you might also like the Vexers. They're pretty clever, too.)

Adam Carolla And "The Hammer"

My god I hate Adam Carolla's smirk.

He plays a washed-up boxer in the new movie "The Hammer," getting old and making one more go at the sweet science. Sort of like the latest "Rocky" movie, only it's a comedy.

On the plus side, it does involve Adam Carolla getting punched in the face.